yeah random title:
but anyways another probable rant.
ok you know what I don't like on DA
when people take snapshots
even when there is models in them
there so boring
it's like o..kkkkk
boring expression
seen it a million times.
But modeling is about experimenting
and doing different things
not oh look at this model i think i'll copy the EXACT same expression but maybe a different background.
AND i don't like it when people upload
pictures and there like it's SO UGLY
and you feel bad so your like NO it's not...even if it is
WHY did you upload it?
OR if the drawing is terrible
and some people are like it's PERFECTLY AMAZING PUDDIN'!!!!
And if all of there stuff is bad
and there clearly not getting better
why?
WHY compliment soemthing that sucks??
Even if it hurts them it's better for them
because what if everyone on DA is really nice and is like THATS SO GREAT
and they apply for a job as a artist
and get rejected BY every single job they apply to.
So they would have to deal withj the feact that their art sucks but that you lied to them.
So if someone says your art sucks take it as a compliment
or ignore it
if you think your really great
GO ahead.
SUBMIT
SUBMIT
SUBMIT
but you can't get offended when someone says your art sucks
it's part of life
deal with it.
If your going to go for something (modeling, drawing,art,photography)
your going to get critisized, because not everyone has the same view or EYE that you do.
College will suck if your teacher hates your work.
But you have to fit to your mold.
Even if you get kicked out, so what
this is what you love to do.
YOU dont need her.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!!
*ay*

ok my FRIEND....i'll try not to release her name..but there going to be some keyboard mashing so maybe some typos too.

Ok well i had plans with her and i cancelled plans with my boyfriend to be with her, so he left off to his friends house for two days and ONLY because i thought i would be at her house, for two days ....I said i wouldn't see him for two days.
So i have no way to reach him.
But that was cool because I was going to hang out with her.
But I get to school all excited because I thought I was going to hang out with her, but she gives me a thumbs down and I was like WHY NOT???!!!
and she pointed at her guy best friend and that made me SO mad.....
Not even the fact that she is hanging out with him but the fact WE made plans and she CANCELLED them without my consent.
And now I'm not going to do anything for two days except CLEAN, CLEAN,CLEAN.
And it's not the first time BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS PICKS HER BETTER FRIENDS OVER ME.
I WAS AT HER HOUSE ONE DAY AND I WAS GOING TO ASK HER WHAT WE WERE PLANNING ON DOING NEXT
AND SHE SAID HER FRIEND CALLED AND THAT I HAD TO LEAVE.....FOR HER TO GO TO THE MUSEUM...WTF????
I WAS HANGING OUT WITH HER AND HER BETTER FRIEND CALLED BECAUSE HE CAN FINALLY HANG OUT AND NOW IM NOT THAT IMPORTANT...SO SHE CANCELS ME BASICALLY.
I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE SHE NEEDS to see him...it's not like he has cancer and is going to die without seeing her.
I mean i even HAD a fucking time limit so not only was i leaving I was fucking RUSHED.
It doesn't make me mad because we do spend alot of time together but what gets me mad is she has spent three whole days with him and instead of doing what she does to me to him because SHE has been with him for three days, she spends even more time.
So that just hurts me.
I guess i'm just not a good friend at all.

I will be pretty when everything else is ugly.
I will be strong when there is no strength left in me. I will not cry when anything is sad, instead I will smile.
When I'm having an argument with someone and were outside at night,I usually look up at the moon as if it I was looking to it to help me.
I look until my anger is gone and my frustrations wither away, and then I stop and turn to hug whoever I was fighting with.Even if it wasn't my fault I say that I'm sorry and I tell the person what they mean to me.
Why should I waste my time arguing when I should be loving, I don't want to spread hate.
And that is why I don't hate my parents or rally anybody. Because If i spent my whole life never talking to my parents because they were "stupid"
nothing would be solved, I wouldn't be taking a risk, I wouldn't be different.I would be the same as people who hate.I physically and emotionally can't hate anybody.I don't want anyone to have a reason to hate me.I want to meet people,every type of person.And I don't want to waste a second.

it cannot be explained in one word
it can not be told in one day
and I can't forget it for one moment.
Everything I'm not is because of my story
Everything I am is because I choose to be different.
I am different in every aspect of the word.
different from statistics,ratios,percentages.
I am me.
You can't really fit me into any category
jock,"emo",scene,punk.
Because i'm not.
I put the title like that because those things are different.
anyways, just a little info on me.

you can't fix a broken heart you can only put in pieces to make it whole again.
I don't know exactly why but I feel symmetrical..
I just saw twilight
hoping to hate it.
but I very much enjoyed it.
anyways today I and went to the torrey pines beach
and we were literally combing the beach for shells and rocks.
we went SO far
and we watched the sunset
it was so amazing.
and ummm.....I took pictures
and yeah.....
thats it.

many people tell me it's not a feeling
many people tell me I can't have it..
because I'm too young...or too naive
or plainly because I'm a hormonal teenage girl
AND I have realized something..

it isn't a feeling..

it's when you look in his eyes
and you know he loves you
and he looks in yours and they tell him the same...

you just know it..

when he holds your hand
you know it..

when he kisses you
you know it....

when he laughs at your corny ass jokes
you know it...


when he smiles ONLY because you are
you know it......

when he holds you
you know it....

and most importantly when he says he loves you
you know it

it is sorta funny
because I look at him when he says it
AND i can see how much emotion he puts into those three words
and they are seriously the most beautiful three words I have ever heard in my entire life...

thankyou nic
for being there
for caring about me
for being everything
a boyfriend
a lover
my best friend....
someone i can fully rely on
you love me
truly
and honestly
and that is so hard to find
i love you..more than anything
your so great and wonderful and amazing
I'd be so lost without you
and I'm so glad we found each other...<3

Nic + Brandy = <3 April 25,2008 <3